In the Dock: Hypothetical Scenario

(Written during my Judicial Attachment around June 2009)

Prosecution: Your Honour, the accused is a student from CUEA. I am told he is a law student in the same institution. Your Honour, the accused is charged for contempt of court. While serving his attachment in court his phone rang loudly in the tone of Nyandundo for 17 seconds thereby disrupting court process.
Court Clerk: Salem Lorot Dick, tutumie lugha gani, Kiingereza au Kiswahili?
Salem: You can use any language. Hata Pokot na Gujarati. Your options are wide.
Court clerk: Listen Salem, I have asked you to choose one language. I have not told you how many languages you are conversant with.
Salem: That’s Ok. You can use Kiswahili.
Court clerk: Salem Lorot Dick, mnamo tarehe 19 Mei ulishtakiwa na shtaka la kutatiza shughuli za korti. Unatuhumiwa kwamba tarehe hiyo katika mahakama ya rufaa nambari moja ukiwa na simu ya rununu ya Ericsson iliyopitwa na wakati simu hiyo ilitoa mrindimo na mtetemo wa aina ya Tony Nyandundo kwa sekunde 17 hivyo kutatiza shughuli za korti. Je unakubali mashtaka ama unakataa?
Salem: Nakubali.
Court clerk: Je, una malilio yoyote ambayo ungetaka korti isikie kabla kupitisha uamuzi?
Salem: Bwana Hakimu, mimi ni mwanafunzi was sheria katika kitivo cha sheria chuo kikuu cha kikatoliki cha Afrika ya Mashariki. Ungetaraji kwamba kwa sababu ninasoma sheria basi ningepaswa kuzingatia sheria.
Bwana Hakimu, nasikitika kwa kosa nililofanya na nataka radhi ya korti. Mimi ni mtuhumiwa wa kwanza ( first offender). Katika chuo kikuu sijafanya mitihani yangu maalum ( specials) ambayo nataraji kufanya mwezi wa Agosti. Bwana Hakimu, nina ugonjwa unaohusiana na kupata flu pindi nisipokuwa chuo kikuu haswa katika maktaba. Natoka familia ambayo sisi watoto hatuli mara moja—wengine hula leo wengine kesho. Bwana Hakimu, haikuwa dhamira yangu kutatiza shughuli za bunge. Naomba radhi ya korti.