Honourable Members, greetings are in order from Lorot Son of the Hills. Actually, this was meant to be a speech to be delivered to you on the floor of the House but owing to your busy schedules a simple letter will do. While I understand your tight tasks pending, spare me a minute to read this letter.
It is about your salaries.
I have no problem with it. Not even a scintilla of grudge. This is why.
A Kenyan MP buys his votes. Most take up loans, steal, visit witchdoctors in order to secure a parliamentary seat. There should be return for investment and the salaries aren’t enough.
Even when such a seat is secured, everything is unpredictable. A cash-strapped family composed of 12 plus children wants to squeeze for fees. A bereaved family needs Mheshimiwa to condole with them. Na mkono mtupu haulambwi. So, your MP pays the deceased last respects with a jeneza, tent and meals for waombolezaji na waliofiwa.
Then while driving back from the funeral, Mheshimiwa is accosted by a hurriedly constituted Harambee. He gives 20 thousand out of nowhere.
And to stay in business, you have to lie. I read somewhere that a liar uses a lot of brain nerves and muscles to panelbeat his lies, twice or more as much as a truthful person does. And boy, how many lies can you concoct in a day ranging from Mau, Referendum, Corruption and what-have-you.
Honourable Members, I understand your trillema. You hire goons, spindoctors to remain in business. Your psycophants are on your pay-roll to keep their ears on the ground. You keep a harem and sire children in some private estate. You do the most difficult thing in Kenya: listening to convoluted and long-winding speeches on the floor of the house—even those of Bifwoli. And when you have enemies within parliament, you invest in sidemirrors which come handy on the treacherous bunge corridors.
There is badmouthing. That Kenyan MPs are paid more than their U.S and UK counterparts. But what these enemies of development forget is that people here want potbellies. And this comes with some cost which a higher salary scale comfortably steps in to resolve. In U.S. it is considered a sign of bad eating.
Wabunge, there are important things you should worry about and not small issues like salary hike. There is succession politics to drive any ambitious MP nuts(ask Ruto), the KACC, YES and NO divides (and even Watermelons), unpaid witchdoctors’ fees( names withheld) e.t.c.
For starters, you did not come up with this salary issue. The Akiwumi Tribunal did. Let us put facts straight.
What is 1,297,000 for a salary?
How much really is 130,000 as a Constituency Allowance?
Where is the pinch for crying out loud about 100,000 for entertainment allowance?
What is wrong with 366,000 for transport allowance or even 60,000 for car maintenance?
Why much ado about nothing? Why the furore dear Kenyans?
That is why ala Cosmas, I smell jealousy in the breast of Kenyans against increased salary of MPS. They are the enemies of Kenya’s progress. They want you MPS to deliver yet expect you to live like paupers.
When you sleep at ungodly hours in your homes and godly hours in parliament, where are they?
When you shout aye or nay and almost shatter your voicesboxes, are they with you?
Or when you stamp your feet on the floor of the house and strain your leg muscle in legislative solidarity do their feet also stamp?
Or offer your names to the press for scrutiny of your ancestral history do they offer support?
Or better still, when you carry the sorrow of Kenyans in your hearts like a true martyr, do they hear your complaints?
And as you hop from one armpit of land to another to pump sense to patriots, do they mention this in salary hike?
What about `butt fatigue’ you suffer sitting for countless hours drawing Kenya’s legislative future, do they consider this? Where are Kenyans in all these?
Hyprocritical lots! MPs take big risks in seeking political offices and consequently they should have bigger rewards. If you climb an iroko tree and fall, no one remembers you. If you climb a Mvule tree and fall, your grave will be marked. Big risks, big investment which equals bigger salary. Case closed. Next file please!
No comments:
Post a Comment