Dissertation Prayer

Lord, I have prayed for other people and things
But today I pray for myself
I have not mastered the art of prayer, Oh Lord,
So let me talk with you the way I do with a colleague

I am one of those that did Law for prestige
And care not whether it is a Pass, a Second or a First Class—
As long as it is a Law Degree
So when I write my dissertation
Inform my supervisor that:
I am not a Mr. Ambani, a legal scholar—I am a son of a coffee farmer in need of a law degree
I am not a Shakespeare or a Lord Denning or a Madan—I am a Sheng’speare but unfortunately Shenglish is not a recognised Dissertation language
I am not a Onyango ( By the footnotes of IHL does he have a Bluetooth memory? Seriously, he needs a brain scan to remove it) – I am an ordinary student not lazy not hardworking not stupid not clever ( so don’t push me to the wall and I promise not to disappoint)

Lord, temper the mood of my supervisor
Where he wants to measure me by the standards of Cambridge Law Journals—let him be reminded that I learnt under a tree up to secondary and survived
Where he insists on footnotes—let him be reminded that IHL came and went and we wrote our sh*t and never got a zero

And about this 30th April deadline
Please hold the feet of my supervisor from instant journeys—I suspect he is playing Tom and Jerry with me
Then on April Fools Day say: Lorot Son of the Hills, we have a deal you give me 5k and I correct chapter one and two and write for you chapter three and four
And on 30th April sayto the Dissertation Panel: Lorot Son of the Hills is a good-for-nothing-run-of-the-mill-jackass, been almost breaking his femur in the corridors of CUEA dodging me since September last year!

I will not plagiarise but how tempted am I to copy and paste some of this dissertation stuff (why complicate matters with footnotes and endnotes and call it research?)
Abba Father, I know my strength I know my limit
Others have called their dissertation topics: “Tripartite Trends in Disambiguous Ambiguity: A Case for Law, ignorance and Hobbesian Complex”
I don’t care whether that is a Law topic or a Chinese Calendar or a militia group from Kosovo or a scare-tactic ( I suspect it is a scare-tactic to scare us the lesser mortals; anyway we will still graduate together, Mr. Tripartite Hobbesian)
I don’t care whether your footnotes cover half of every of your page
I don’t care whether my supervisor loses sleep and appetite seeing my work
I don’t care whether I am a disgrace to the Law Profession (the worst to be seen in the 3 years of the Law Faculty)

All I care now is a grade, peace of mind and my own ways of doing things.
Whatever happened to the saying: He who pays the piper calls the tune?
Lord do something to my mind: something close to what you do to prophets
but in this direct my thoughts not to prophecy but legal argument
Where I am weak I ask for strength
Where I feel like to engage in a verbal match with my supervisor give me patience
Where my Shenglish overpowers me do something close to what you did to Elijah and the Baal prophets
Lord I am your poor creature who needs a favour
Do a trick with me